hdsncx Gizmo asnqw toilet blanasdi
ok, stay where you are, be there soon
he just booty called me in advance instead of waiting til 3 am when hes trashed. i think thats really considerate and gentlemanlike.
I just wnated to let you know that I laminated my history notes so i can study in the shower.
just looked at his mug shot... not really my type
i just had a pap smear and two shots. lets hit the beach.
I took shrooms last night.. For a good half hour I genuinely believed I was black and being held captive by a leaf. Never again.
Look at you go. You're like the Slutty Librarian that Could. They should write children's books about you. Children's books for adults.
I just watched in amazement as you had a full conversation about water temperature and bacteria with your pet goldfish.
We decided to keep having sex while I ordered the pizza. I wanted extra pepperoooooooooooooni.
I ate an entire popcorn ball before bed. I know that because there is popcorn stuck to my poncho. Also. I'm still drunk. Also. I made out with a 19 year old. Also. #barnparties
Just made a bong out of a pineapple. So yes.. And champagne is about to be popped
The UTI came back with a vengeance.
I remember eating bacon bits off your chest that night... I'll never look at bacon pizza the same way
You have to give it to him that he fucked me out of the dull weekdays.
My mum just told me to stop being so pathetic and just find someone to have sex with, even if I don't like them, just be grateful for the sex. Wow.
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