Fun fact: when I ripped off my wristband, I punched myself in the face. Rad
Just had another dream about being on Real Chance of Love. I think it's a sign.
they made me velveta mac and cheese and fish. I wanna stay here the rest of my life
She wanted to watch a Baby Einstein DVD while we fucked. I'm pretty open minded but that felt a little creepy.
All we had was a keg so we played edward nalgene-hands
You tipped the bathroom lady $20 and then yelled "IT'S YOUR LUCKY DAAAAAAAY" at her.
It's a good deal. He teaches me how to longboard, then we have sex
Omg considering I am covered in cake and probably cocaine that is the greatest news I have ever heard
Fine then. I'll just do all this coke on my own this weekend and die. It'll be strictly your fault.
OH MY GOD MY GRANDMA JUST SHOWED ME HER BOOB OH. MY. GOD.
Nothing bad can happen when you have a kiwi flavored condom. Absolutely nothing.
Unfortunately hes not a hipster douchebag with no life goals, so naturally I'm not interested.
Son of a bitch took my liquid eyeliner
My previously white toilet seat is now hot pink. I'm not sure why or how but I know it's your fault.
I have bruises all over my legs. Did I hit a car with my bike last night?
Randomize