Who has a tranny cab driver? I have a tranny cab driver.
There was so much of it... it was like he poured a bowl of pudding on my face. It's not bad for your hair is it?
I really wish I didn't have to wear pants this is ridiculous
you know how they say when you die, your whole life flashed before you? well do you get to see what happened all the nights you blacked out?
I walk in and my mom takes one look at me and just says, ".... Consequences"
we need a dd. For wednesday. At lunch. What are we doing with our lives?
succeeding
I can't wait til my little brother reaches the point where puking doesn't mean we stop drinking
I didn't think about how painful the pumpkin seeds coming up the next morning would be. Oh well, I'm good at making pumpkin seeds and that's all that matters.
While I was fucking him, he grabbed a taco off his shelf and started eating it. I had taco dripped on me. I have no idea where the taco came from.
Not only does DQ have s'mores shakes, sonic has a hot dog in a pretzel bun, and Wendy's has a burger in a pretzel bun. Important things are happening.
Any idea why the fuck i would replace all the music on my ipod with the fucking Goosebumps theme song?!?
Apparently drunk you is really nostalgic?
If there's one thing i learned from edward 40hands is that i couldnt handle life with bottles for hands
I'm out of breath and my thighs burn but at least it's over.
I think you're overestimating how drunk I was
You said your pillow felt like the ocean...
Damn that sucks I haven't needed pants the whole time i've been here
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