I thought at least he would want to exchange numbers after he tried to put it in my bum
You were spooning my trash can and I had to crumble cookies on the floor by your face to get you to eat
My life is a requiem composed in the key of fuck.
Already at the river; already getting fucked up. And yes that semicolon is legit because those are congruent statemests
Again??? Now we can't ever fucking go there again STOP PEEING IN FOYERS
So...guess who had sex tied to the ladder of a caboose under the stars in Joshua Tree? This bitch
I swear to god he's making pineapple onions and cheese. He thinks he's making eggs onions and cheese
oh btw ur so lucky i got stoned and passed out or we sooo would have bedazzled your dick while you slept. just sayin.
Like if it it's practical for your sexual health I'm allergic to it AKA REGULAR CONDOMS
You should frame my arrest warrant.
I've talked to too many cops in one week and I haven't even committed any crimes. I hate the suburbs
He wouldn't shut up so I started sending him pictures of animal dicks
*6am blends another margarita* *615am blends straight tequila*
Then he asked if he could pee on me and things really went downhill
Facebook is for cat videos and having better lives than people from high school, period.
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