I wouldn't call it sex. It's like when you put a plug in a socket half way. It's not all the way in but it still turns on the light.
Her name starts with A and ends with whore.
there is a school bus full of santas parked in front of the liquor store
Just spent the last of my lifesavings on (what i hope is enough of) alcohol. Hello summer.
She used the word "fragged" in proper context. tell me that's not bust-nut hot.
Get the fuck buddy a birthday present or not? He def deserves one, but how do I explain the debit card charge to my husband?
Just found custom condoms. Guess I'm not getting any work done today.
Pissing in la rieve gfox. Jer zsyuis diu drunk but it felt amazunbg
Dans le librearie ivetre. Hjhaha
no more heavy drinking durning the lady that cleans the office told me i have to emtpy my own thrash if i puke in it
Fair warning: We've transformed the living room into a giant tent.
hr gave me pretxwk salad and a doubke shot of grey goose. i approve! tou guys are a beautidil couple.
I think I ingested my vampire fangs last night.
Like actually I will be single and sad and lonely for ever. Cheese will be my life partner. Robot sex is my future.
My boss is explaining why he thinks time goes by faster and faster. Bc of the rockets. No lie.
You shoulda seen me try and clean up custard from an eclair off the floor while trying to pretend to be sober for my mom. Fucking hilarious.
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