Michelle and I recorded her bunny humping it's little rubber black ball.
I wish they had nachos that got you drunk
I'm not inviting you over anymore if my cat keeps ending up in the freezer...
just read twilight to her over the phone, while in the bathtub, candlelight...i'd love to say no homo but that was so gay.
Is it wrong of me that I wish I could be a midget for a day so I can give head standing up?
It was really weird walking into a CVS and not going straight to the pharmacy for plan B.
As he was under the stripper backwards, he yelled "we should totally be facebook friends"
You know you're at a low point when you're sucking vodka out if your hair.
Sorry if this is weird, but please don't have sex in my truck. I get to be the first...
Do you remember lying across two tables saying 'go away I'm trying to pull' to me, Sollie and Sean?
Whats a little naked between friends. Just don't laugh or I'll be scared for life.
Considering all of my stomach contents ended up in my center console, I'm a bit peckish.
Have you ever had a pregnancy test laugh at you?
Partying with my eighth grade history teacher I know you're jealous
I either have food poisoning or I'm pregnant. Either way, I NEED JESUS!
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