Have fun with your cool freestyling girlfriend!
She can rap better than you any day
What was that guy's name that you dated that wore the leotard?
She's hot, in a Megan Fox with Down's Syndrome kinda way. Like, she'd win Miss Deliverance Pageant
At least she's the hottest one. Oh well, it's all about stats
And we should impose a 'friends don't let friends order 25 shots at last call' rule
just got in my apt...and theres jungle juice here i left from over a month ago..this could be interesting...or deadly
Mom looked at me, frowned, and said "it makes me sad to see you drink before noon.." So i told her if she doesn't like it she needs to stop waking me up before noon.
He has blue eyes of sex and i am powerless against them
Doesn't tell me where my computer chair went but good to know
Side note: the physics of a guy my size and age getting laid in the backseat of a Toyota Camry are absolutely staggering
We could have mediocre awkward sex or mediocre stunted/awkward/uncomfortable banter. The possilities are relatively finite
Also at one point I told him to say my name and it took him like 5 seconds to remember.
For starters i called the cops on myself for trying to destroy the ladys decorations
bitch, i have a flask. i've got things under control.
god. marry me.
U were so upset when the shower ruined ur nachos. I didn't kno what to do.
Dear Douchebag, I would just like to formally issue this fuck you. You will be receiving a letter in the mail soon. With all of your stuff.
Flirting with/getting ready to possibly sleep with a married HS classmate and getting added to a bible study group chat within minutes of each other. #Balance
Randomize
