Her eyes are really red like she jus got out of the hospital and shes coughing ...80 ppl at her school do have swine flu dude
So your saying just a blow job?
So this text is costing me two dollars because I'm out of the country, but I just wanted to let you know it went well with the stripper last night
NoDDING MY HEAD LIKE uyuEAH MOViUNG MY HiPS LioKe YEAhhhhhhhhhhh
wow.
She thought someone was breaking in but when I said it was me she got even angrier and threw a coffee mug at my head.
You high fived me for banging your sister but lock me outta house bc I ate your pumpkin pie? Priorities bro
Help. Me. He just whispered 'prepare yourself', & sprayed hairspray everywheres to make sure the 'air was crisp'
So I cleaned out my gym bag. Found half a bottle of malibu.
You know, I could pretend I'm shocked but what's the use?
She just came to my house, with puke in her hair, to wake up my dad and scream "happy fathers day you DILF!" at the top of her lungs
Between the hair pulling and the choking its its more like combat than sex
Sorry I have an "Operation Iraqi Freedom" fantasy
You don't understand. This could be the last time I shave a star into my vag. Get over here.
I was picked up from his hotel room at 5 a.m. and came home with my panties and jäger in a McDonald's bag so the desk attendant wouldn't judge me. This is what single at 25 is about.
Dude. You dropped to your knees and face planted into the rocks. And continued to talk on the phone and laugh. That's where those cuts came from.
I don't know what the bubonic plague feels like- but I'm gonna guess its something like this.
I know that you sometimes make decisions based on comedic effect, but losing your virginity shouldn't be one of them.
Annoying and petty is the name of the game and I'm the MVP.
Randomize
