Then she called me a home wrecking whore.
dont they live in a condo? that doesnt count.
Now there's vomit covered trash all over the front lawn. I feel accomplished
Beer bonged 7 shots of Jameson. I title this night short stories with tragic endings.
She's the barista slut.
Weird we were more concerned with sharing our germs than tag teaming the blow job?
I'm handcuffed to your bathroom sink. Save me.
Cops busted the party. A kid dressed as a dinosaur tried to crawl out the bathroom window but his tail got stuck. It took 3 cops to pry him out.
He always takes home straight guys. He plays One Night Stand on Ledgendary Mode
I drank a girls breast milk at this wedding. Shit was next level
So what if I got a tattoo on a bus, it was sterile.
I don't think "growing medical marijuana" is Quite what my Grandfather had in mind when he thought me about gardening as a child
I would say don't do anything I wouldn't do, but we both know I forget about my personal safely when getting laid is on the line
This is the third time this month a guy I’m not dating has dumped me. How is this even possible???
Where can I buy a stripper pole at midnight on a Sunday?
All I want right now is a waffle and some fried chicken and a penis.
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