i want to bang the Snorg tees girl.. shes always smiling ;)
my tampon string is in my asshole... do you think i can get it out without anyone noticing?
i'd get off the bar first.
I'm at the grocery store, it's 10 am and the woman in front of me just bought 3 boxes of wine. She turned around and told me not to be afraid
We should see who can shotgun a beer faster over iPhone FaceTime
I took the precaution of putting my macbook the one place in the dorm there is no way i can piss on it... the toilet
I stopped understanding conversations unrelated to vodka two vodkas ago.
what is it with giant penises always finding me
My therapist is concerned about your alcoholism.
he ate me out like he was chugging a beer.
Honestly the war on drugs is dumb and you can just sleep in my bed which is mega comfortable anytime you want. There I said it
Ok, I have three hours. I'm trying to work out two blow jobs and a taco.
Hot Italian guy literally came into my logic class just to get my number to study with me and left. America.
we will now reference it as "the infamous double dick night"
I'm sitting naked on my bathroom floor and it remind me of us.
That's my way of saying I miss you
I don’t understand his energy
What? Nice? Lmao
Randomize
