Oh My! A car just drove by me a splashed me with a wave of water. I am drenched and soaking wet!
I am sorry--all I heard is that you are wet.
he said he has something really important to tell me but isn't ready yet. It's either that he loves me or has herpes
Congratulations, you are no longer the only person who has watched me drunkenly pee on their furniture.
Well it ended with everyone taking a bite out of a raw potato and a girl crying because her boyfriend wouldn't bring her any grape juice. So yeah...I'd say the night was a success.
Beer, water, beer, water, beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer so much beer
Novelty of the week: Getting my lipstick back in an evidence bag
I just told the sun to stop. That hungover.
He's like... An octopus that touches my vagina in all these diff ways at the right times. It's almost unsettling
We just saw two bitche in pink capris jazzercising down the road. On Thanksgiving.
Also, I just opened Google to find the lyrics to California Gurls. Karaoke night did us dirty.
Okay but look at his jawline. I NEED TO RIDE IT.
Places I vomited today: hotel bathroom, in the cab to the airport, airport bathroom, airport terminal trashcan, plane seat 18E, and the plans bathroom
Fun wedding?
Yes. Very.
I don't know where I'm at. But I'm pretty sure what I'm looking at is a small bear.
poll: am I friendzoned if he just called me brochacha? on one hand, he called me bro, but on the other, he used the a to make it feminine.
So I have three weeks to get rid of his girlfriend and fuck him senseless before he goes to jail
Randomize
