u know ur in oregon when the cop tells u to keep the beer cans he made u pour out so u can recycle them
I just accidently sent my poop smells like vodka to 27 people in my phone book
I think he was having a seizure but nobody knew because 'what is love' was playing
You were so drunk you tried to sell your salsa to everyone on the restaurant.
I just withdrew $200 in ones. I think the teller knew what was up
i think the doormans mad at me
well we haven't pretended to pretend we were going to have a threesome with him for a while...
I ended up with a bullet proof vest and I still don't know his last name.
All I know is....there's beer in my camera. How do I know? Because I can pick up my camera,shake it and HEAR, the beer in it
you were feeling the wall and when we asked you why, you just said "because I want to know who lived here before"
He called yelling about whhhhhhiskey and enchiladas I heard sirens in the background last time I talked to him b
I am googling "notable people who had syphilis"
I just compared my relationship to that double ended dong scene from Requiem. This day just took a turn.
my gynecologist gave me a high 5 for not getting any STD's since my last visit and said "Way to go Annabeth!" you have twenty seconds to get to my level
You ask to touch his thighs ten times and called them magnificent.....need I say more
Very interesting. Let's just say I got home last night and threw up, found a joint in my bra, and woke up naked in my bed
Randomize