Did you know Kal Penn works at the white house? That's almost white castle.
Its the Friday before break. There are 20 kids in my 300 person lecture hall. All with the same what the fuck am I doing here look on there face.
He came in asked for the bathroom and came out 10 minutes later dripping wet took his redbull and left.
fuck. I just remembered I agreed to let you finger me last night for solely for "scientific purposes"
I don't remember how we paid for the cab. I do however remember giving him my heels 2 help with the bill.
This summer isn't about fun. We have to train our livers to survive the next four years.
Honestly I will go to church for him, I will even try to quit smoking for him. But his dick is not worth losing alcohol. He sure as fuck isn't taking away our wine nights.
I'm like five sips away from making a Craigslist post for true love and mustaches. My family is going to disown me tonight.
You called me at 3 am and I rode my flat ass bike that I dug out of my garage in the dark to meet you at dunkin donuts for a 10 minute convo about your mother and you didn't drive me home.
you owe me a blunt and a bottle of moscato.
IM WAITING BITCH. ANSWER ME.
We hooked up and then we watched game of thrones while he fed me chocolate. I don't see how our benafriendship is a bad thing.
Sex in the moonbounce later?
This is why I love you.
yeah I woke up in jail with two different shoes on and neither of them were mine
I found Erin. She's getting a back massage from the coat check boy and drinking all his whiskey.
I just lived through a real life episode of jersey shore.
Here's a rundown of my night alone. Danced my ass off in the kitchen to FleetmacWood. Drank a little bit. Ordered $40 worth of Chinese food once the drinks kicked in. Picked up said Chinese in dirty sweatpants and slippers. #livinglife
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