You'll put your fingers inside me but you won't be my FB friend?
is it wrong that I want a "Where The Wild Things Are" tshirt that points to my junk?
I will also inform you that stairs change when you change a house. Those hurt.
WHY WOULD YOU LET ME MAKE THAT MUCH NOISE DURING SEX IN RESIDENCE ?!
I tried to push your face into the pillow but then you kicked like a donkey.
I love tequila.
Status Uddate: I lost half a tooth and Alison is taking Amy Grant requests via bullhorn
Walk back down Church toward Mass Ave. Take a right and head for the guy in a kilt on top of the really tall unicycle. C u soon!
Are you setting a date to bone me?
Are you accepting?
I'm starting to question if I'm gonna need to bring a raincoat just to drink around u
U act like I can cum on command
What alcohol should i drink Saturday to completely hate life?
There's nothing quite like having a little 8 year old boy hand me a Bible on campus while I'm on my way to the health center because of my recent slutty tendencies.
Do I go to spinning class and try to redeem myself from going drunk, or do I wait a week and hope they forget I fell of the bike?
The awkward moment your booty call shows up to the Mexican restaurant and realizes you just picked burritos over pussy
Is kiddo a correct name to call someone who you stuck your dick in?
You wouldn't happen to know why there's an inflatable monkey riding a mattress on my roof would you?
nothing like a long car ride to make you think of all the bad things you've done
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