I chose taco bell over sex...
good choice.
Sweater Vest, Chin Strap, Beard, sporting a white Beret- Please don't ever let me be THAT guy.
you dont remember trying to break dance in the middle of the casino floor on ur own throw up?
oh that explains alot.
NEVER shave your cleavage hair.
Drunk sex destroyed my coffee table... ikea this weekend?
She is definitely tripolar. Like bipolar but better/worse.
Ok but if you die you have to get "I should've listened to Mike" carved into your tombstone
I seriously think the toilet is the cleanest thing in their house. At least if I have to worry its not about that.
I need to puke. I need a shower. I need rehab. I need to detox and puke. I feel like demons are inside of me.
you said you would race him to taco bell but you slipped in the parking lot and just laid there, crying
Her mom is a nurse who got called in to declare someone dead. Just got wing manned by a corpse.
Yes, if by 'finishing my business' you mean vomiting in her bathtub and losing my watch.
As he put it in he shouted "geronimo!"
Wow... So was the sex good?
Yeah but it doesn't matter. My vagina is not a pool.
You could cut the tension with my nipples.
The salt made it so good this margarita is touching my soul. I swear I'm not high BUT I want elote in a cup with the insides of a shrimp taco. I think that would make my life complete.
Randomize
