Just saw a man jogging. For recreation. At 3am. Who's he training to be, batman?
I cant find my shoes, my wallet, or my keys, but i know where your sister is.
Your dick is once again the conversation topic.
i don't think my family understands the severity of a twenty first birthday.
I told you not to have sex with her on my futon
I didnt dude, i swear!
either that or you were eating mayo, which was the second thing i told you not to do on my futon
Either way you look at it, I'm a slut. But either way I look at it, I'm having a fucking blast.
And i didn't ask you to do that, You showed your penis at your own free will.
I'm afraid to text her because most of the time she just replies with "cockblock."
That was a $3000 rug we rolled him down the hill in.
I've never danced to a Michael Jackson song in a bar and left alone bro. Something in girls loves a guy who dances to mj
Ps you missed quite a show. I was for some reason whipping my hair back and forth and head butted the tip jar. It shattered and now I have a circular bruise on my forehead. All the bartenders hit the floor to get all the quarters.
I think Facebook knows you fucked me. All of a sudden I get everything you do in my news feed.
He should know he can't successfully wrestle in pudding fully clothed. Amateur.
At a point I was just cumming dust last night
do you think your dog feels awkward being in the background of your nudes?
Randomize
