I wish life was like dora the explorer where dancing pigs appear out of nowhere to solve your problems for you
So at this point...I'm sure you heard the story about Saturday night
you know that annoying kid in my psych class? accidentally hit him in the face with a door today. perfect end to the semester.
I guess you can say it's a tradition... whoever brings home the ugliest guy has to do all the cleaning the next day
dinner with the girl I motorboated last semester wasn't as awkward as I thought it would be
Just saying. If you end up in canada tomorrow morning at least youll have my text to remind you how it happened
i was thoroughly upset that he did not want to be my number 16, who passes that number up?
DO NOT GO IN OUR BATHROOM. it cannot be unseen
The cops showed up and one of them got pushed in the pool. When he got out he looked really sad so I got him a towel and hugged him. He arrested all the underage drunkards but me.
This is a rough morning for me
No, rough is puking in your froyo cup next to a five year old and her grandma.
Well, I tried to shit into my refrigerator. It was a rough night.
I taped a pair of scissors and a coupon for a waxing on the door. He gets to choose.
I can't finger myself when I'm all distracted about whether or not your family is going to like me
He snapchatted me his dick and he's circumcised....BRB going to hug his Mom
MIDGETS
????
Randomize
