She made the grapes disappear! ALL OF THEM!!!
she just sneezed while going down on me. is it rude for me to ask her to do it again?
I don't know where I am, but I'm drinkin & I like these people
you want my honest opinion? I'm sure refering to her vagina as the "bat cave" was your first mistake.
So im at the gym and some guy has a tattoo of a hand doing the shocker... The douche bag bar has been raised yet again.
Doing "bucket stands" with buckets of margarita. Don't tell me it's not a good idea.
Look if you're not going to be mine and take care of my needs, I'm going to fuck your sisters.
I feel that it is my duty to the human race to invent a colon squeegy
Can we please get on skype for like 20 seconds so i can show you my penis and the spiderman temporary tattoo that is right above it
Ok everyone, the frat server is slow because of the 11 TB of porn on there. Either clean out your partition by Sunday or it will be erased. Thanks for your help.
so I'm staring at this cat and wondering..is the tail of the cat the derivative of it's head?
stop getting stoned after studying for a calc final.
Aaand now my client contact has seen your boobs.
If you bring home Chipotle tonight I'll give you an epic bj...ball play and all #datenight
You told your family you're bi over the phone?!
We were talking about exes and it just came out....and so did I.
He told you he loved you. Then you wanted to find a chainsaw to cut his dick off.
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