Girl next to me just ralphed in a bag. Congrats class of 2010
Ohhh, TODAY your worried. Becasue last weekend when we warned you about her you said "shes too hot to have herpes."
Judging that there's a photo of me getting head while sitting on a graveyard tombstone.....not good.
we where pretty evenly matched until he threw me through that wall
Have you ever tried running while drinking 151?
guy in front of me at the pharmacy just asked the pharmacist for 2 Plan B's and replied with, "If your wondering, then yes I did have a threesome. It was amazing".
I rode a bull tonight, There is absolutely no reason my dick is not in some chicks mouth
Also I just took a shit at a bar so always remember that ANYTHING is possible.
Oh, and i love you too. Im just a selfish dick who had to talk about myself first
Our friendship would be less complicated if your dad didn't think I was forcing you into having gay sex with me
"Douchebag of the Year" award goes to the guy who didn't reply to the picture of my tits.
Sorry, I was trapped in a small closet behind a washer. What's up?
Fuck you asshole. You cost me cheerleader pussy.
Literally just inhaled three cinnamon rolls. Sara is staring. It was inhuman
you said you heard a baby, so i told you to go feed it. you came back 2 hours later with a pizza and when i asked you where the baby went you pointed to the pizza and puked.
Randomize
