If I go to jail what happens to my debt?
You dont have to pay it.
I'm going to jail.
Raging hang over. 6AM finish. Shat on a bag of trash in an alley. D L that last bit.
im pretty sure vibrators are the best invention since dinosaur chicken nuggets
i gave her road head last night, needless to say it wasn't the same and i bit a chunk of the inside of my cheek off.
For future reference, even the most well-intentioned game of whiskey pong is a terrible idea.
Someone just told me I have an ass that could kill small children .... Don't know how to take that one
I don't care if there's a party or not. I just want to be half naked in a cape with a never-ending supply of alcohol within arm's length at all times. Make it happen.
So it turns out that my mom and her dad used to hook up when they were our age
Never been so glad that I look so much like my dad that there's no question as to my paternity
No matter how drunk I am or how drunk I'll ever be I love you
I have bruises from doing the splits on the poles, if that doesn't scream bourbon street regret then I don't know what does
I will show up on your front porch in a wet t shirt and some mac and cheese
I want to fuck the side burns off of Steve.
I've literally NEVER been on a date or gotten through one episode of netflix without having sex like I JUST WANT TO WATCH TRUE DETECTIVE
Your amazing boobs made me fall in love with boobs. I never cared about boobs you should be proud
We just started our own DARE program: Drugs are really enjoyable.
Randomize
