I haven't worn deodorant in like three days and have been laying around in my underwear listening to music and drinking. I think i've made my own Bonnaroo in my apartment.
which bright sisters idea was it to put semi-formal in the middle of no-shave november?
It took us hanging out like four times to kiss. Id like to fuck you before I'm 30
I think I just inadvertently started a sex competition with my roommate and her boyfriend.
Seriously. There are at least 10 other people drinking at the bar with me at 10:40. Im justifying it with the fact that I've been up since 5am.
Just thought you should know that your brother tried to febreeze his floors with cooking spray last night.
I gotta find new tactics tho. There's just so many tied up dicks one can look at before part of your soul dies.
You know I told you about that hammering at 3 AM yesterday? Turns out it was Holly beating the lock out of her door with a mallet because she'd forgotten her keys.
Doesn't she keep a spare?
Drunk Holly doesn't listen to Sober Holly's plans.
No, seriously, I've slept with 3 guys this month.
It's ok, February is a short month
im sleeping with a therapist...so you can talk to me.
this place is dumb. no one understands my Sunday morning alcoholism here.
How do u even exfoliate your vagina
I don't care how hot she was, she wouldn't stop singing "Shut Up and Dance", instant boner-killer.
You whispered 'For Frodo', handed me your shirt, and charged campus security.
i just realized i have only had sex on couches so far this year. i can't decide if that's impressive or trashy
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