your life is more of a joke than dina lohan.
if you\'re going to compare me please pick the classy one. Michael Lohan.
I am 90% sure the kid in front of me in class is picking his face spots, smelling it, and then eating it. That is a LOT of % sure for something like that.
i just woke up at 8pm naked in my bed, with a fresh haircut. I wonder what barber i went to.
i guess i had fun last thursday night because when i got on the drunk bus this thursday night everyone immediatley started chanting my name and telling me to do a bus flip
whats a bus flip?
idk but apparently i invented it
It's almost summer. We need to start reconnecting with our home drug dealers.
My boyfriend just sent me flowers. I am now crying at the fact i fucked my fat neighbor. God please help me.
No, this time she was diabetic. I think I fucked her into diabetic shock.
I just watched a woman in a full wedding dress and veil walk out of the chinese buffet...I no longer believe I have a problem, and am afraid I am underdressed.
She got stuck in the front door. She never told me how or why.
Ya. My thumbs are those buffalo's, but my legs are spirits and my torso is that Indian guys and my head is the eagle
Then, right before he came he said "I want to buy you so many things!" What the fuck?!
Is it bad that I want a job purely so I can buy drugs with without feeling like I am sacrificing my future?
Why do you think I have a job?
i was sitting in the back of a squad car completely stoned watching airplanes take off
I wish I had a picture of me and ron helping that stripper lick her own vagina
I worked all year for this tax return. I deserve to get my nipples pierced.
Randomize
