Dude im not sure whos apartment i woke up in but i just showered here and their shampoo in phenomenal
no dont talk to me..because of you my bar tab was more expensive than my hospital bill
I probably shouldn't have slept with him. I feel like that may have given him the wrong idea.
We are possibly on our way, unless we see the limo full of strippers.
All I remember is doing a naked tuck and roll of your bed.
They invited me day drinking but brought their kids. 3 two year olds and 1 11 month old. I was asked to change a diaper, I laughed and took another drink of this margarita. I LIKE CHANEL AND TEQUILA NOT CHILDREN. Can we make new friends?
Most men with as many freckles as you aren't vagina magnets. You are an exception to your kind.
Well you tried to pay for a drink with your keys for one...
This guy on the bus keeps leaning over and sniffing my hair.
We ended up at an Asian frat. I made out with two Mexicans at the same time and I pulled a muscle in my leg from twerking too low. Diversity.
You can't call dibs on the bed... every time you party you KO in the bathtub
i just googled coccaine effects on sexual performance..maybe im dating the wrong guy
Don't send me heart emojis when you're jacking off.
I'm going to need a penis the size of a bat
I'm literally naked with a whole pizza in my lap sitting in my chair.
Randomize
