I am so getting Plan B when we get home. Not getting knocked up by a dude with a hair piece.
Freshman just walked up and thanked me for letting him hide under my bed when the cops showed up to the house last weekend
advice for life: when the cop takes your tallboy, don't ask for your coozy back
How do you think the people in my class would react if I ripped all my clothes off and jumped on him right now?
So I've decided to grow a vagina forest. Because I'm single and it's like a zen garden. Brings a new meaning to long hair don't care.
I deleted his number so I had to go into my old voicemails which are saved through my gmail and search his name... Never underestimate the resourcefulness of a drunk girl on a mission for dick
Is it related to planting your seed? Cause I don't know if you have studied the development of a tiny human, but that is some complicated shit.
Isn't everything in a man's life somehow related to him planting his seed?
I was so high the sounds of a cricket drove me out of my home at 4am.... Boo that fucking cricket
If you were more comfortable around gay men, then you too could get wasted at the gay dance club and go home with hot girls.
I am. I woke up on someone's front lawn dressed as max Payne also be proud.
Should I take a fireball shot or brush my teeth?
It's all fun and games until your in the alumni campus center puking on the floor
Sooooo drunk. We had the best sex ever and after he looked at me and said "That's whats up". I looked at him weird and he said "Young Jeezy would say it" and passed out on me naked. I think i might be in love
Once someone takes a shit in your toilet they are no longer a guest.
You do realize last night you asked me if shampoo had an expiration date then cried for 15 mins when I told you it did
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