He said he was just looking at my pictures and was thinking about how he wanted to cut my hair..then dye it black and put platnium blonde extensions throughout it and layer my hair
Just seen on a tshirt : "fake titties taste funny"
"reccomended dose" hasn't been in my vocabulary for quite some time.
mid-sex i was thinking.. these are not the right balls slapping me
We found you passed out clutching your purse. There was 16oz of unopened cheddar cheese inside. You just kept saying SALSA YES.
I had lunch with him today and quietly mourned his wasted good looks on such a disappointing set of genitals.
I almost spit out my drink. But only almost, because it was vodka. And you don't spit out vodka.
You didn't say, "No." And you stole more than half of my Snickers. You owed me that dick.
Remember that girl from my stats. class that I ran into at the bar 2 weeks ago? She literally hasn't been to class once since I told her I sit behind her.
These cutoffs are too tight but my ass looks like Freedom
Have you ever tried to have sex with a fairy? My penis is literally bigger than her.
My vagina needs a break, I had to ice it with a beer bottle last night.
I had to say goodbye to one of my fuck buddies last night. He's voting for Trump, we shouldn't be doing it anyways.
He just sent me a picture of multiple chickens eating in his kitchen... should I be worried
so at target i bought condoms, on sale undies, pasta roni, and martini mix. the old lady who rang me up asked "honey are you a freshman?" yea lady i am, thanks.
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