get your tongue out of his mouth and answer your phone. if your not doing more than making out i'm gonna be so pissed. i'm about to sleep in your car bitch
i woke up in the lobby of Holiday Inn on a chair sitting up straight
you kept typing in answers.com, why are the state police calling my house, expecting an answer
I'm still amazed at how you managed to puke in every plant on the whole top floor at the mall without a single person noticing and without missing a step.
We're playing a drinking game to 'how to train your dragon'. has it really come to this?
And then I learned that we are dating when I said it's out of line to bring fuck buddies home to meet the parents. And then I was single.
I told her we could be friends and she said the last time i told her that we had sex behind a bar at 4am
So essentially hes paying me $150k/year for the rest of his career to not have sex
SERIOUSLY? WTF! why cant I find a super hot, super gay, super conservative christian NFL player in need of a beard?
Kegstand on crutches, you need to get on my level.
Just once, I'd like to hook up with a girl that doesn't look like she's having a near-fatal seizure when I give her an orgasm.
If i'm forever fucked up in this state of mind then I'm going to kill him for this
He was so aggressive it felt like he was giving my boob a root cannal
holy shit I was not prepared for her to whip out that dildo
My v day was great. There's a cum stain in the shape of a handprint on my sheets
We found you walking up the on ramp to the highway carrying a 40 mph speed limit sign with no shoes on. Rough night?
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