i'm telling everyone you had sex with a puerto rican drug lord
i just unintentionally masturbated to my own facebook picture
Have you not heard of Jennifer's supreme lust for William Shatner? She wants to eat Taco Bell off of his love handles
I think the fact that my first kiss is now in a porno says a lot about why my life is the way it is
This gyro tastes like lonliness
I mean, I'd wanted to go skinny dipping, hook up with him and have sex on a beach, so last night I basically killed 3 birds with one super slutty stone.
We just saw him running from campus police a few minutes ago. So no, I don't think he's still passed out on the quad.
There's banana everywhere and your hamster may or may not have stayed the night in the microwave...
It's amazing I mean I blew that senator just for him to deny me marriage.... Politics suck and he swallowed!
You should kill a bro for me and drag his carcass home so I can study him.
So it's national ass day?! I love October. No bra last Saturday and now ass day. This is my month. God is dedicating this October to me!
Talking to friends parents while buying all the things needed for Jell-O shots. classic
Worst. Date. Ever. He peeled a layer of bread off his mini burger buns because they had "too many carbs".
ill give you some hints: blood, carnival, fog machine, happy meal.
Stereotypically, lax bros last the longest, but have huge egos that are annoying. Baseball players barely last 10mins, but are really nice. And than we have soccer players, last long and have no egos. Me and my friends have collected our findings.
Randomize
