im marching my happy ass in there and im not leaving until he cheats on his girlfriend!
It smells like weed.
We are in Boulder, Everything smells like weed.
I just farted. And everybody around me is looking at the fat girl to my left. I win.
At barnes & noble, drinking beer out of thermoses, lookin legit.
Our professor just said "No class today, go get stoned." A guy seriously walked over and hugged him.
How do you tell someone they are only invited if they put out?
I just got cut off for correcting the bartender's grammar. I should have never accepted that fucking editors position.
Sitting at a bar next to a guy wearing sunglasses drinking a pitcher by himself and having an argument with himself over if journey is more ballin than kiss. Feel better about myself.
I went outside for a smoke at 4 and things seemed normal. It's 6 now and the front lawn is COVERED in tortilla chips. WTF?
just found a carrot inside of a baby sock. living with toddlers is like living with tiny hammered people.
My roommate's all sad and is crying and the chick I want to bang is in the room and Nic Cage is on fire. What the fuck.
i showed up sober to class for the first time. my prof said that i was "off my game today". i love philosophy
Who the fuck cries when they're stoned?!
Sorry man I just really wanted a McChicken
I was so drunk last night I asked a rando at the bar to take a picture with me cause I thought he was in the band
The guy whose house were at is drunkenly reading green eggs and ham to us in German
Randomize
