they say Disney World is the happiest place on Earth. It's a close second to the Super 8 on route 18. That place holds some great memories.
i think he might wanna be bffs again, but idk cause we're friends again but we haven't been bff since like a year. i don't know what to think...
wow. what a nail bitter. i need popcorn for this. brb
I bet they all look and smell like Amy Winehouse
I just wiped my vajayjay with snow. Bad idea.
I have a ginormous moral hangover. Strip club blues.
My ATM looks so different sober.
I think I'm still drunk and I think you were in my dream (sadly, it was not a sexual bill murray one).
Vodka?
Forever.
OMG OMG OMG DID YOU KNOW THERE ARE MINI CHOCOLATE COWBOY HATS THAT MEN CAN BUY FOR THEIR PENISES?
Is it bad to have a craving for speed? I feel like my nose is thirsty.
Because of my cut offs, my brother is convinced I fucked a girl so hard she forgot to take her pants. Fairly accurate.
He asked me if I remembered touching his police badge. awk.
If she "comes out" to me I guess I'll high five her. That's pretty much my response to everything these days.
My hangover didn't kick in until like 4pm so I found myself puking in the middle of Times Square. During rush hour. In a three piece suit. A spongebob came by and patted me on the back.
I'd send you a picture as proof but I want to marry him some day and that would be a deal breaker.
Randomize
