Do you not remember dry humping your dog for 20 minutes at oxfest dude?
I think i sorta joined a cult last night
Once you see the odd facial expressions and noises a guy makes while he is furiously beating off on top of you, it kind of puts things into perspective.
she told me i should dip my dick in chocolate and then let her blow me since it was her 2 favorite things. weird or my new valentine for this year?
I got a hennah tattoo of my room number on my arm...I love spring break in Mexico!
I just got a 45 minute blow job...she literally sucked the single life outta me.
u sound so gay right now
i dont mean to point any fingers but there is a lot of urine in the kitchen
Just watched a deer get gangbanged in my front yard by 5 bucks. Wtf animal kingdom
Go forth Daniel, drink, be merry... And meet some hot Asians for your friends to bang
i tied my phone to a string attached to my bra. i am NOT losing it tonight
You finished the fifth and then hid two dozen eggs around your apartment and declare that you would "quest for Jesus". Have fun questing today.
Sounds like she has 4 first names. Like a sad version of Ricky bobby
There's a quesaritto in the oven. Neither of us have been to Taco Bell in 3 weeks.
I JUST BROKE A NAIL MASTURBATING. WTF I could even enjoy my orgasm bc now I'm gonna have to spend $50 on my nails.
It all started with a game of naked twister.
Randomize
