I love her so much that if I could have sex with her I wouldn't cuz my dick would feel out of place in such a perfect body/vagina
So i've def seen the girl running for student body VP getting fingered in a bar.
i just opened up my bathroom cabinet to get deodorant and found 4 bottles of natty. Its like the world wants me to miss this interview
i know and i thought i was only capable of loving dick and drugs, im so happy
Well at one point he got ahold of my archery gear.. And I. Shit. You. Not. Sarah took an arrow to the knee.
I just want you to know that I'm, like, 45% hard right now.
If you can count on one hand the number of times you have actually, truly nearly died this month, then you are not really living yet.
Not only does DQ have s'mores shakes, sonic has a hot dog in a pretzel bun, and Wendy's has a burger in a pretzel bun. Important things are happening.
And then he said he wanted to "get really weird with me on my horse." I took that as he wants to fuck me while riding my horse. Could be a good time.
It's funny when you can't take a fishing boat because you fucked the captains wife
Fuck you and your widespread penis snapchat
She wouldn't fuck me because I had a cast, so I took her friend home
I would definitely ride that dick into the sunset if nuggets are involved
Turns out, the guy I'm casually fucking has a girlfriend who's cheating on him with my sister's boyfriends brother who I fucked last year. And my sex life has now come full circle.
I just group texted a dick pic. Wonder who'll respond back first. Ashley Stacey or my stepmom
Randomize
