the bus pole looks like a man who feels guiltyty about something
I want to touch your soul through your body...with my penis...
Mike i'm at church right now...
1 stripper is 160/hr. 2 strippers is 280/hr. it would be fiscaly irresponsible to only get one.
all ill say about last night is that we tried to stop you. oh and the bus you're on is going to nashville.
I'm alone drinking at the bar and the titanic theme song is on. This won't end well.
she tried to douche with champagne. in front of all of us. unabashedly.
All i want to do is drink fuck and cry... you dont have to cater all three its more like the saddest choose your own adventure ever
I cannot FaceTime with your penis
In two unrelated events today I have had frostbite on my toe and cum up my nose. Who says life stops when you get married?
I did the walk of shame this morning and his mom hugged me in the driveway
how do you always get into these "we banged the same dude now lets be friends" situations???
I apologize that you just fell victim to my random thought of how to make a blow job come to life via emojis.
His Instagram is like a gay porn blog all of the sudden got conquered by the Mormon missionary that he is
FYI bail money is still in my drawer. I know you have no car but you need to know this for tomorrow.
sometimes u just gotta ride a dildo and forget about life
Randomize
