i hope you realize when i said "grib" earlier i was referring to the gridded binary, a mathematically concise data format commonly used in meteorology to store historical weather forecast data. also meant in referential conjunction to my probability math class that i am failing at roughly 215pm tomorrow afternoon.
I don't think brook has ever known best
non applicator tampons are so hard to put in when your drunk. i fingered myself for 10 minutes and forgot what i was trying to do.
I mean, he's dancing back and forth between pathetically sad and massively fucking creepy.
Is it sad that I woke up to more "Happy Holidays" texts on 4/20 than I did on Christmas?
you kept saying 'can i put my penis on the grill?' and it was all i could do to stop you. you're welcome, though
I'm too drunk to be surrounded by this many indians
How do you manage to be drunk and a racial minority so often?
i want to swaddle you in tequila
Woke up this morning in a randoms bed clutching an airplane ticket. God I hope I'm still in the country
he made his penis look like a sprinkler when he was coming. it was pretty cool actually.
I'm trying to pinpoint the moment when "don't do anything I wouldn't do" became bad advise.
We got Pizza Hut & Papa Johns, delivered within seconds of each other, and both delivery people did a shot. I was put on Earth for this moment.
I can't promise that. They just put an extra shot in my margarita.
Her ass is the reason I still believe in a higher power
Got to work this morning and thought... Did I really dance on that pole last night
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