I just peed in my kitchenbs sinlk. New low- maybe. am i embarrassed? Not in the least
I needed to borrow my dads nail clippers and next to it was an industrial size box of condoms if that wasnt bad enough I dropped the clippers behind the bed and discovered hundreds of used condoms
He only uses me for sexual pleasure. The sad part is I don't even feel like a slut. I just I feel like I should just live in the top drawer of his nightstand....for free of course.
i went through the entire semester and only just now realized there's a girl in my history class that i've hooked up with.
i woke up this morning next to my toilet covered in an attempt to make blanket of toilet paper
WHY AM I BEING COCKBLOCKED BY A KID PLAYING HAVA NAGILA ON THE SAXAPHONE
My crowning drunk achievement from that night was donating $5 to the Obama campaign.
You're perfect
I don't have to hold her hair back as she blows me but I do have to hold the ball on the Santa hat
There is an alarming amount of urine in here.
im lying in bed trying to choke myself out because being awake hurts too much
Apparently she almost had an affair at Outback Steakhouse, details to follow when I get home but the apple really doesn't fall far from the tree
I'd marry him just to keep his penis in the country
You guys go ahead and have your romantic night. I'm gonna keep my vday tradition alive of angry banging a stranger.
Does puke ruin car paint? Good thing it's raining.
I love you, but seriously, that was way too long a thesis on an Arby’s curly fry being wrapped around schlong!
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