so he shaved. down there. and before he took his pants off i thought it was hot but then all i could think about were the naked mole rats from 7 grade science class.
She just got back from rehab. You dont celebrate that with margaritas.
I thought short asians scared me, however seeing my first tall asian I'm terrified.
She's allergic to latex.
Lucky bastard.
You guys seriously fuck to bieber? That's embarrassing...
This is one of those times where I really wish my vagina could tell me what happened last night.
Everyone is slow dancing to Aerosmith. I am serenading a slice of pizza.
And we're now at 8 people from the office coming to my desk to ask me "do you feel better?".
I came home to him frying bacon to put in his beer. He said bacon beer lights, taste the awesomer rockies
There are days when you go to throw something in your bedroom trash can and realize the only things in there are a used condom, a Lime-arita can and a muffin wrapper.
I distinctly remember telling him "I'll suck your dick while you eat pizza"
We cuddled after till the morning. Then he woke up sober... and straight.
Awk moment when I forgot to tell my hookup about visitor parking so he got towed
Soooo I think my neighbor just saw me masturbating on my porch
Jesus I was next level high last night having a mental epiphany about the state of Virginia
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