Everyone needs a good pregnancy scare in their life.
I think I might.. possibly.. like a Justin Bieber song.
I think you might... possibly... have sprouted a vagina.
nothing says new school year like ambulances and police road blocks.
Can you deep fry cheerios do you know? crucial question
HE COULDN'T FIND IT! WHAT KIND OF QUARTERBACK CAN'T FIND IT?!
Just heard Miley Cyrus' version of "Every Rose Has Its Thorn". Fuck everything. If you don't have an std you have no right to remake this song
That awesome feeling when you are pooping on the same toilet that nobel laureates have pooped on
I bought an american flag today and by god im gonna fuck someone on it
You know you can't live off of vodka and pizza rolls forever
I'VE ALREADY MADE MY CHOICE
I think girls have an advantage in chugging contests. We know how to just open our throats.
I warned you. Don't come crying to me when your vagina refuses to forgive you for this.
In my defense, who let the drunk girl run around with a sack of broken glass unsupervise?
His name was toto. That should have been my red flag
He left a fire sauce packet from taco bell that said "promise you'll text me in the morning" on my nightstand.
PANTIES FOUND
Randomize
