I hid 4 bags of cocaine in your house. Have fun finding them
THE PICTURE OF PEPPERMINT MOCHA MADE ME WANT TO TOUCH MYSELF
my one-armed grandma is doing the YMCA. you figure it out.
Now i know why people get high. I sat in the same chair for about 3 hours and the only thing i worried about was how far away my chinese food was.
i finally watched harry potter... a tad unrealistic if you ask me... i mean a ginger kid with 2 friends?
this kid is using one arm to help his buddy with a keg stand, and the other arm to hold up the chick he's making out with.
oh god all I remember is forward rolls down the corridor and all I have to show for it is "fit Romanian guy" saved in my phone
You look me right in the eyes and yelled "By the power of the superglue beer sword, I designate you my driver!" I almost felt honored.
Some random walked into our tent, woke her up and said "Harry Potter must not go back to Hogwarts!"
I'm making him come over again tonight. I don't know how long this thing will last so I want to spend as much time with his dick as possible.
Ryan friended me on LinkedIn and it took everything in my power not to endorse him for sexual dysfunction as a skill.
There's "red head", "preppy white girl" and "the two Asians I dated and now everyone thinks I like Asians"
Your dating history is like the united colors of Benetton
how does spending your day off taking me to the hospital sound?
Cancelling your gym membership calls for alcohol.
All I want is dick and wine.
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