If you text me again I will gut all of your stuffed animals.
legit been throwing up since 7am. told my parents the two bowls of puke in my dorm were soup
we found you eating frozen orange juice with a spoon and then drinking vodka from the bottle.
I got really high with eric & scott.. they're discussing why words sound the way they do.. it's going to get messy
It's always a surprise to see what songs I shazamed and downloaded last night while we were drunk at the bar.
Apparently we had sex last night, and then I made him drive me to the beach so I could puke in the ocean.
my fake id says im a 34 yr old russian lady ... how is this working
I just used dish soap as body wash. I smell like a dishwasher exploded. isn't the end of the semester fun?
spotted: something called the tunnel of opression. i feel like if we patricipated we wouldnt even be phased or we could run it better than them
He brought wine and beer. I'll put my pants on for wine and beer.
Your mom won me $100 and you showed me your tits. Solid evening.
I feel like he better crank it up to level RG IV tomorrow. It's the fucking playoffs.
I got a snap of someone jumping off a light pole. Was that you? Please confirm or deny. #onWisconsin
If we had a dog do you think we would be less hoe-y?
Nah
I found a used condom and a hairbrush in my dryer this morning.
Hiring someone to do your laundry would be a good investment.
Randomize
