Your lack of dick hurts my anus. I hate your loverboy tactics.
So..he puked on my dress and I had to walk back to the dorms in his little sisters Scooby Doo pajamas.
I don't know you.
And then she started grabbing onto random guys legs, asking their names, and if they wanted to be friends... Haha, I love when the girls my ex's are dating are total drunken whores.
she said if I bought her franzia she would blow me, and she would fuck me if I splurged on martini and rossi. Franzia it is
She volunteers at a homeless shelter. You volunteered to drink 7 day expired milk for $3. No chance. Give up.
As your boss, I feel obligated to tell you that turning our management meeting into a kegger may just be the best idea you've given me yet.
she named each of the players on the last ten madden covers in order and then shotgunned 2 beers...if she doesnt have a penis im in love
I would explain the ketchup stains in the bed to him but saying I just got my period is so much less embarrassing...
my resolution for 2011 is to fuck him whenever he wants it. this year I'm going above and beyond the call of booty.
It's 4th of July all over again, we were chasing with the pool water.
It's a sad day when you can't take off your pants and drink a margarita at work.
He did 5 five hand stand push ups and took off his shirt for a barbarian flex. Some girl took off her shirt and threw it at him
I love you but I don't want to see you naked.
You know the story of the boner party, right? They got stuck in the mountains and ate each other?
It was the Donner party... boner party was the porn version...
Bro I rebuilt the dungeon in animal crossing visit me
Broooo
Randomize
