can you have the cops turn on the gps locator on my phone...i just woke up in a Hooters uniform and I have no idea where I am...
Its about time the women of america have a president they can masturbate to again
is it wrong to smoke out middle schoolers?
yes...dear jesus what did you do?
bwahaha. ask your little brother in about 20 minutes. im dropping him off.
i keep myself tagged when other girls look bad/ugly so i look better
I don't think you have the libido for two women at the same time
I think you underestimate the amount of time spent masturbating
Gotta love hanging with Nat. By the time guys realize she isnt going home with them, they've spent enough money and time to think I'm a good idea.
Woke up in a kilt. And it's not my kilt. Drinking was a success.
HE HAS A CHODE. LIFE IS NOT GOING TO BE EASY FOR HIM.
Just managed to stab myself in the ass with a fork. I feel that as my best friend, I'm obligated by friend code to inform you of that sort of thing.
you puked in the bathtub and said "let them pee"
At least your night didn't end with three cops seeing your ass and you sitting on the ground in a wig throwing your shoes at people
OH AND DAN PET MY CAT WHILE I WAS GIVING HIM HEAD
Eating a grilled cheese at a strip club... good idea??
in that moment our bushes were one. and in that moment we were pure.
Well now you know not to take drugs from your friends. Take it from stangers. They're more reliable.
Randomize
