if you like me you must not know who I am
If you are in NYC and not seeing anyone, you should come fucke me now because:1 i am not in love with you anymore, 2 i am drunk enough where i won't feel the n eed to kisx you awardly to avoid your beard, 3we have unfinished business that i wpn't get -assed unyil orgass have been had, 4 i really really want to
Anywhere you can eat green eggs and ham, you can have sex.
Packed at 6 am completely wasted. Damage assessment: 12 pairs of socks (no underwear), a flashlight, 3 shorts, shot glass, 8 sweaters, puff paint, one sneaker.
I just busted my ass on the ice in front of my entire AA meeting. As if being there wasn't embarrassing enough.
His threats seemed pretty legit for a 6 year old
well when mom kept referring to my "black hole of a vagina" and how i devoured all the nuts at the party like i was a pro, i figured my stay was up.
Serious question: Should I volunteer to get tazered? My instincts say no but my wild side says yes.
The police report said "I asked the suspect if he had any identification. He replied yes and gave me a Pizza Hut gift card"
The Royals are in the World Series. I've never drank so much in one week in my life.
I need to wear something that says I would have sex with you but I'm not going to
You've opened Pandora's butthole my friend. There's no going back.
I know they deliver ice cream, but do you think I can ask the delivery guy to watch the rest of the movie with me too?
I feel like I hate him but his dick too bomb to hate completely
Does going to a local bar count as taking part in Small Business Saturday? Asking for a friend
Randomize
