hooked up with a girl who spoke elfish last night..what up 8th grade lord of the rings fantasies
I have a drinking game planned. Were gunna watch empire records. Everytime they say rex manning we have to take a shot
just snorted lines off a mancala board. I'm destined to win this game.
The 30 seconds of sex was almost worth it...I mean he did smoke me out and watched the princess and the frog with me
The only reason anyone found out he threw up is because everyone heard it sizzle the bonfire out.
You can't break up with me and ask me for a handjob on the same day. At least not in that order.
She cracked her neck before the blowjob and I knew shit just got real.
I believe in weed hangovers. To say the least.
I've gotten 2 singers numbers, a 6'5 dude has promised to take me to Oktoberfest, and I spent the night w a pilot named Zeus who looks like caramel tastes. Also I sprained my thumb punching some guy I named 'hater'. I love Nashville
Remember when I made out with that stranger at the bar on my 21 in chicago? I wonder how he's doing
You just kept looking down at your tits and screaming "I LOVE YOU TWO!!!"
At about 2:30 i found you passed out in my closet with your face covered in cheese whiz
I am talking to a naked lesbian about robots. I think this means I win life.
WHY ARE THE COPS ALWAYS AT DENNYS WHEN IMDRUNK!?
I'm not sure of this happened or if it was just a dream... But I vividly remember you walking down the street naked?
No actually I had socks on...
Randomize
