Sry I called you an 8
I thought his dick was headless. then I pulled back the foreskin.
Did you get the "i have a yeast infection from that wet frat bathroom floor" text?
They can't keep moving my court date back, i dont know if I'll survive another one of these going away to jail parties.
do you think a sharp knife would stab through a cheese suit?
OH BABY IM HERE AND IN A BLANKET FORT
COME TO THE BLANKET FORT
i’m not very adjusted to having free time. for example, I forgot how much fun it is to masturbate.
Oh man. I am high, watching The Office and getting pancakes. What a country.
Jesus Christ, it's not like going swimming. You don't have to wait 20 minutes after you eat to suck a dick
You fell out of his top bunk onto his set of golf clubs. After seeing blood on your leg, you proceeded to sing "the first cut is the deepest" while sprawled on the golf clubs
WHY DOES MY BOYFRIEND'S BROTHER HAVE TO BE SO FUCKING HOT
Come home... I’m drinking and playing with knives
wheres my face? and why is my pocket so big?
and then she asked if she could shave my junk
and howd that go?
can you pick me up from the hospital?
If that pentatonix bullshit is playing when I get home we're breaking up
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