you dont need to remember merediths name haha. only jane
Whatever. They have the same name, so it's not even cheating. It's brand loyalty.
she then came into the room and yelled I'M GOING TO BE A COCK BLOCK for 5 minutes
make sure i look cute passed out on the couch.
I don't remember her name, all I remember is trying to suck the wedding ring off her finger.
Before you ask, yes. Whatever you're wearing IS too slutty for his mom's funeral.
she walked in on me snorting my prozac. there was no way to convince her i was doing a good thing.
I knew shit got real when the pinapple was gone and people were just passing around the core and gnawing on it.
Ya I got a cut on my head from the toilet seat last time I drank there.
NEW RULE: NO INNAPROPRIATE CHOICES THAT INVOLVE GUNS. I LIKE IT. WRITE THAT DOWN.
I think I'm crying more because after all these years he never learned to spell you or use a comma properly from me
It might be whiskey, but I view Marge and Homer Simpson as something to strive for
I found a video on my phone from last night... You got up on the table at McDonald's and screamed BURRITOOO!
Alright if I email the police department asking for my mug shot do you think they will email it to me
the next morning his mother came in to tell me that she made breakfast. she told me to put my clothes on too. awkward.
Randomize
