we went to a bar last night, drank beer in plastic cups. I took pics w/a random kid i pulled into a photobooth & i have easy mac in my purse. I belong here.
Fuck, operation next sex victim is on as soon as i get back. Do not sleep with that red head, nobody likes accidental ginger babies.
He had personality for days, but cock for only minutes
Since when is my name a synonym for head?
the last thing i remember was trying to convince him to call over his girlfriend so we could have a threesome
when i asked what day 420 fell on this year, she answered so quickly i knew i found my soulmate.
ya, but you'll graduate college with a higher education. I'm looking at at least two addictions, an abortion, and a few weeks jail time.
Welp, she's chewing our paper towels again. She's like an obnoxiously hot puppy
The maintenance guy at work just asked me out for a drink. For once, I proudly said that I was 20.
I don't know what's happening. Everyone is wearing beaks.
dude you said you were going to be a human flag and climbed the telephone pole and fell in front of a car
We see some guy emerge from the forest on the island this morning, alone, in only a snuggie. Morning shots and bagels on us for the number one walk of shame.
How bad would it be if I wore out the dress we got peed on in. You're the only one who knows.
And on the way out from Applebee's he tried to take the basket of toothpicks claiming he was using them as a tax write off. Last time I babysit my dad on thirsty Thursday.
You don't make any sense
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