Pete just told the whole party I'm a squirter
So when does "going out for one drink" = giving some guy an HJ on the sidewalk?!?
at first I thought it was funny, but looking at it now, it screams "dramatic" and "medicated wipes."
Right when I walked into the party my boyfriend stood up and yelled, "HEY TITS, GET ME A BEER!"
He looks like Ryan Reynolds from this angle
Since when is drunk an angle?
On an unrelated note: I'm also a big advocate of the "never waste a boner" theory.
Its all fun and games until someone grabs the electrical fence.
So I just stole my deans keys to break into the dining hall to get coco puffs. I shouldn't have gone to this meeting stoned.
That guy has been pretty randomly in and out of my vagina for 4 years...I don't think I'm required to tell him when I'm dating.
Good point.
when the repo soundtrack came on in the middle of us having sex i realized it was about time that i clear out my itunes library
did i make more ranch sandwiches last night
you had 4
You threw your body across the gross couple hooking up on the couch and demanded they scratch your back. I love you drunk on peach schnapps
Sitting topless in my room drinking wine from a box... It's good to be back at school
Yeah but him not going to be sleeping in your sink this time.
sorry didn’t mean to call you, i was just trying to put the t-rex emoji beside your name
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