Without porn, I would have few hobbies.
i think the fact that he graduated high school the year i graduated elementary school is sexy.
Just saw an Asian guy riding his razor scooter to class. Dreams do come true
I just found out you can file for divorce online. I love America.
I'm taking last night back. It officially didn't happen. Tell your friends.
I still have your handprint on my ass. You're not allowed to ignore me yet.
There are going to be so many Snookis this Halloween that I might just dress as the guy that hit her and punch them all in the face
bro im too drunk for your spanish code words. did you fuck her or not.
He threw up. He never throws up. It was like finding out superman cant fly anymore. I was so sad for him.
While all the other girls were trying to out skut the next, Cameron was just doing cartwheels around the bar. I think she's the only one who got laid.
Just Everbombed a Guiness to make up for cutting out early last night. Also the Mars probe. Happy birthday motherfucker!
No sex in the champagne room. The champagne room being my life
I started singing I believe I can fly in the shower and it was like the first stage of insanity
Your boobs stole my birthday thunder!
Dollars spent: $83, Girls kissed: 4, Girls slept with:2, Girls currently making me breakfast: 1, Fucks given: 0
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