me and ur bf were arguing about whether coke was vegan. i really hope it's vegan
i think my mom would be mad if i was pregnant. last time i was she grounded me for a week.
I hate the hobo that sits outside our building
Joe or Chris?
do i even wanna kno y u kno their names?
well i came home drunk one night and Chris offered me a beer as i was coming in, it was kinda weird but i wasn't goin to deny a free beer. you're proolly talkin about Joe though, he's the one with the fucked up eye.
My sink just fell out of the wall. I can't deal with this right now
I might've decided it was a good idea to try to steal all of the pool balls at the pub... I apologize in advance that we now need to become regulars somewhere (anywhere) else.
When we were eating pie last night, I dropped some, and not only did you not judge me for far surpassing the 5 second rule, you let me use your foot to sock mop with. You're a good friend.
I couldn't tell if they ere dancing or fucking but they won the costume contest
I am now being bribed with one orgasm per every meal I eat. This is the best anorexia therapy ever
I'm bored enough im considering taking up his offer to turn me straight just to kill time until the lasagna is out of the oven
I almost died today via plastic wrap. I AM THE REASON THEY PUT WARNING LABELS ON THINGS.
11% beer and firearms, what could possibly go wrong?
Please send pictures of any nice new years ladies you run across in town, as I've forgotten what women look like.
Okay Im still jerking off but now with the Reality of Law School Looming In The Distance
You casually put your finger in my ass and other people are weird..
Hahaha wearing a fake moustache in public was the best idea i ever had
Randomize
