Beverly Hills, 90210. Cleveland Browns, 0.
can you explain how you are here for one night and now my kitchen table is in 11 pieces..
she chased the tour bus screaming I BET YOUR DICK IS THE SIZE OF YOUR MICROPHONE STAND. i think its safe to say were never getting vip passes again.
You were crying because you hate wine coolers but you really wanted to prove you could finish it
So I know we're not talking about this anymore buuuuuut I left heel marks on the wall.
maybe her throwing up on me was a foreshadowing of how she would later metaphorically throw up on my life
you started petting my head and said "there there, majestical unicorn. it won't be long before we get you back to neverland."
Well that's what you get for messing around with her vagina. I told you it was a fickle and insatiable creature.
We popped the air mattress last night via sex and we just kept going but it feels like I have a bruise on every vertebrae
Went to take a shower. Brought my wine, forgot my towel.
Omg cinnamon bun Oreos. Thanks weed
You know it's a good night when the word slut is imprinted on your ass and your hands smell like lube.
There's literally not a single picture of him with a shirt on. I can't talk to him without dislocating my eye balls.
i had to call him over, it was my last chance at getting some tonight
HE HAS A RESTRAINING ORDER AGAINST U!!!
it expires tomorrow
Made out with sailor moon tonight. Childhood dreams do come true.
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