Well I thought that next 8 ball would either kill us or turn us into Gods
my dad wants uyo to call him right now...reverse drunk dialing
Yeah true. Damn vaginas. They're ruining the world.
I'm torn. Shes everything I ever wanted, but I just cant get past the story about having drunken sex with her dog in high school.
chicago's viagra triangle is not unlike the bermuda triangle in thatt things just get lost...... planes, ships, dignity, virginity, etc.
do you think women who transgender themselves have the option of getting a circumcised or an uncircumcised dick?
i dont understand why you dont get why i love him. i opened the bathroom door and he had his penis in his right hand and a mcdouble in his left.
I just realized I consumed seven different types of alcohol this weekend. And I'm only counting jungle juice as one of those. How the fuck did I not die?
well he got me up crazy early but i got pizza for breakfast and an electric blanket to sleep with sooo he passed the one night stand test.
i threw up in his garden in front of like five people smoking a joint. they let me have a hit after i was done so it was okay
Momentum is force x velocity. So therefore velocity is 0 - hammered, and force is ur legs locked up and ur face hits the ground.
I felt paralized they just wouldnt move. We need segways when were drunk cuz if we start to fall forward they well take off and save the fall.
I can now say I know getting hit in the face with a flying tortilla is not fun
She's high and screaming MEREDITH IS A WHORE
The beauty of getting kicked out of college again is I can fuck my professor's brains out and she can't get fired now
I was told I was gorgeous and a whore by the drag queens. My night is complete.
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