This girl I work with, who is 18 btw, invited me to her baby shower. Do they sell abortions in gift certificate form?
I just febrezed the jizz on my pants and wore them again, gross or eco-friendly?
Eco-friendly.
She walked into class late sat down for 5 min muttered 'oh i cant do this' and walked out. She looked like death.
We should party with her soon
she said they gang banged her to "who let the dogs out." the dude left of the middle barked along. sounds like a good time.
She gave me a bj in her parent's kitchen while I ate the rest of her mom's birthday cake. Fuck. Yes.
she was pooping while we were on video chat. new level of love.
i go for whatevers easier....i'm bisexual strictly due to the convenience factor
Just woke up and my doorbell is on my nightstand... the fuck?
hey dude come in here and see how much of my beard i can put in my mouth!
Thanks man, but unless some hot chick comes in to work with a case of beer and offers me a head job, I'm pretty much screwed for New Years
I decided not to eat, and then this man was my fairy " don't black out" godmother
Sean slept in the bushes beside my house again. Any reason he kept screaming/slurring 'it was all a bunch of goddamn lies' through out the night?
Do you rver get that feeling like their are poprocks filling ur boday?
I left my ice cream out over night, it's melted, fuck this, I just poured Bailey's in it. Problems solved.
Socially acceptable to sleep in a booth in the library? Its not finals but I dunno if I can make it back to south. Too drunk.
Randomize
