there really is only one way to give a PowerPoint presentation in your senior capstone class: still drunk.
Bruises. Everywhere. Table sex is dangerous
She is just riding on my slutty coat tails.
Oh and I found some acid for the drive back to school, productive day
ME TOO. Am adrunk madr out qith. White guy. Guy de white. Blanco chico. Chico de blanco
I wore water proof eyeliner just incase the first picture of me of 2012 is a mugshot
I swear to god, allah, buddah and motherfucking oprah winfrey... if I have to stay here any longer because you are holding us up I will choke you out.
The shit I just took was four, very distinct colors. Jager night was a success
YOU WORK IN THE US CAPITOL! YOU CANNOT HAVE SEX IN THE BATHROOM!!
Dude, you are totally ruining intern season for me...
You might have been able to redeem yourself had you not referred to grandma as "this bitch".
That explains the hand print on my face. That old lady knows how to throw a punch.
Nothing says "First Single Holidays" quite like getting baked with the guy that took your virginity four years ago.
It's still 8am.
Yeah, but its wine drunk. WITH A DOCTOR. THAT MAKES MY MORNING CLASSY.
I feel like that xmas present negates everything we were taught as little girls. Putting out DOES pay. God bless us everyone
Certain restrictions may apply. Common side effects of sex with me include unbridled joy, a healthy glow, soreness and the inability to walk for short to long amounts of time. If any of these side effects occur please consult your physician, so he/she can prescribe me a "high-five".
I guess I'm famous. Hot lesbian was WARNED about me. Still hooked up with her.
I'll pay you to teach me.
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