is it odd that your cat looks tougher than you?
i need gas-x and some way to take back every single thing i did last night.
We had sex on a ferris wheel in canada, our relationship will never be the same
WHY AREWNT YOU HERE SO MUCH FUN STUFF DO IT GET IN CAR NOW caps lock
We found him in the neighbors shed using a bicycle as a blanket. We just left him there.
Its summer. Time to get to the freshmen before the weight does.
He would have to make magical things happen in my nether regions to actually make me vote republican.
Toppless hop-scotch needs to become a competitive sport
My one night stand said I love you, opened my fridge, stole my cream cheese and left.
SOMETIMES YOU HAVE TO BLAST VANESSA CARLTON IN YOUR CAR AT MIDNIGHT TO FEEL AGAIN. IDK.
Had a dream I dropped the L word and immediately threatened to kill myself
You probably shouldn't be having nightmares about expressing affection
How do u ask ur friend if shes keeping her kid but in a chill way
You've hit rock bottom, swam around the ocean floor, and brought back silverware from the titanic.
...and with one comment dissing Hannibal Lecter, I suddenly understood why we never worked out.
You just kept yelling GET YOUR SKATES ON, BITCHES. WE'RE GOING STREAKING.
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