They keep asking what you are doing. I told them to quit calling her "what."
just realized I'm too high to take the plastic off a slice of cheese....
i was drinking at the bar last night with a guy with no bottom teeth, wearing zubas and a polka dotted hat. if that isn't the definition of wisconsin, i dont know what is
Ok wear gym clothes just in case we feel like going shitfaced to the gym
Chill out, I'm getting ready as fast as I can. I didn't even masturbate in the shower.
If I don't have the money by then, I'll pay you in sex.
It's going to be 23.5 times of sex and 19 blow jobs. I just googled it.
Just found out i over drew my checking account on a 711 hot dog
Do u remember buying that
I remember eating it on the curb like a drunken hobo
That dude with the beard walked up to me, turned my water into wine with everclear and kool-aid, and walked away. Pretty sure drunk Jesus is back.
A good drinking club with a running problem, improves endurance in both I have observed this evening.
2 for 1 beer results in multiples of 2 so what should be a beer or two becomes 4 or 6. But running, alleviates the need for a DD.
It was like 10 tiny penises being shoved in my vagina.
I bought a box of wine on my way home. I figured if I’m going to be broke during the holidays, I might as well be able to drink about it.
moral of my life: don't tell a guy you want to have sex with him. he'll get back together with his ex.
apparently I kept repeating I have a to do list this summer and he's on it
Hey sorry if you felt me holding your hand in the middle of the night I was actually just checking you had a pulse
We're going through the drive-through at mcdonalds while pulling sam behind us in the wheelchair and having them hand him the food. Let me know how this went in the morning
Randomize
