He asked if I was on the pill, apparently I just downed my glass of beer and winked at him...
Throwing up while listening to pandora radio. Don't tell me my life doesn't have theme music.
Her life is proof that being a drunken slut will get you places.
he fell asleep like an hour after we got to the beach, he deserved that penis shaped sunburn.
Honest to god.. She looks better fat. I never would have imagined those words coming out of my mouth, EVER.
Chilling. The soap was talking at one point if I rememeber right...
I'M NOT READY TO BE AB ADULT YET!!!
A nap. You broke your hand napping in Vegas.
Holy high batman
The hairdryer was like a fuckin obstacle course
There's a ton of international students in my suite and I'm just sitting in this chair with no pants on eating frosted flakes
I don't know man, I woke up and shes here acting like she knows me, wearing my clothes, and scrambling eggs in my kitchen. I don't know her.
You were drinking with me last night, I warned you.
Your dog took my vibrator out to the yard
First poop in my apartment for the summer, officially settled in. :)
He said that we couldn't refer to each other as brother and sister anymore cuz we were in no way related and he would love nothing more than to get naked with me.
The guy in the cage next to me is having phone sex. His girlfriend is in College Library. Why is my life ridiculous.
Randomize
