Why do girls always cry at the bar?
What's the point of going out if you're going to cry all night?
Are they having an exestensial crisis at the bar?
he just texted me two pictures of his dick. i feel i should rethink whatever vibe im obviously giving out
so is it as big as he says?
he put a tube of toothpaste next to it as a reference. it looks legit
it feels like theres a golf ball between my legs. the sex was totally worth it tho.
there's unknown territories my dick was not made to discover
I can't really talk right now. I'm getting on a plane to Oregon to go give a guy a bj. I'll see you in three days.
You convinced me that eggnog and rum is a great moisturizer.
This creepy guy was following me and i hid in the bushes. i could say i was high as an excuse but honestly it was straight up fun.
He's like Medusa, you can't look directly into his eyes or you'll turn into a slut.
Hey.. there are 2 people i've never met before spooning in the bathtub. Please elaborate on what went down last night.
Watching frozen planet. There's a beach master sea lion with about 50 sea lion bitches fighting another sea lion for said bitches. It's a bloody battle. Dude. You have over 50. Share.
if it looks like there's being an exorcism being performed you know your doing something right.
I never thought people would keep their guns next to their fake plastic penises, but there they were.
Despite breaking my phone, thumb, and my dignity, last night was pretty good.
I assure you, it was not a Porn Hub Bee Movie parody.
My parents are being so annoying about my colon.
Randomize
