hide the guitars, Nate just learned to play free fallin'
No, I can't hang out with Dave because he already has a girlfriend. The one with the tatoos of cherries on her "cherry." Yeah, she doesn't really make me feel spectacularly comfortable.
He came through my line today and bought designer impostor perfume, just for men gel, and astroglide. I almost DIED.
don't worry about the poodle she's always like that. she's like 14 years old and ate a bag of weed when she was a puppy.
Should you consider yourself out of control when everyone at the party is cheering you on while you're puking, and on the last heave you act like you're rolling dice right before the finale???
I think I have internal bruising from those poses we were doing last night. My own ribs hurt me. I don't understand.
Well the weddings in 4 days so I already got the eightball lined up and the wii fit all warmed up. Still wanna bet I wont lose 20 pounds by the wedding?
Alosmot hir two of of mt mailanoxwa
Oh Jesus.
he was once again the drunkest girl at the party
She bent over while grinding on me on the dance floor and her thong straps were hanging out, I thought it was a good idea to grab the straps with both hands and pretend to be riding in Santa's sleigh...not my brightest moment.
I've had three separate encounters with cops in the last 9 hours.... In two different states
My homemade mace ate through its aluminum container. I make awesome mace.
I am just glad I was home to catch most of it, cause it smells BAD.
I'm not a scientist but that could be because it's homemade mace. That is however just a hypothesis
Letting Freddy Krueger eat me out = HAPPY HALLOWEEN TO ME!!!
If you're going to be single forever, you should try the quesalupas at Taco Bell.
However many condoms you have, it isn't enough.
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