This old guy in denny's is sitting alone and he is looking at us and laughing for no reason
I don't think requesting him as a BBM contact is proper protocol following vomming in his bed.
you woke me up at 7 am banging on my wall.. what the hell
thats the international knock for joint time
and i'm pretty sure he drank the lava lamp
He threw up in the campfire, the alcohol in his puke caught on fire. Im marrying this man
They sat at the bar while we waited for a table. When the hostess came to seat us, they were shitfaced, and swordfighting wth chop sticks.
No, the moral of my Oxford interview was "Never snort caffeine pills".
your ability to divide cases of beer among any given group of people equally was missed.
Somehow my drug dealer is stuck in my air-vent and now everything smells like patchouli, weed, deoderant and sweat.
With 4 extra seconds dedicated to the dong.
These kind of text worry me.
The first crop top of the year and you're rocking it in the ER. #ratchet
What is my life?
I climbed out of the shower to him sitting on the floor trimming his pubes with nail clippers, we both just started laughing at how drunk we were
Well that's disappointing. I guess I'll give a lesson on dick-breaking another time then
You know tonight's gonna be a good night when your already planning on sleeping in a trunk
The underwear in the garbage is clean. Just wipe the pizza sauce off
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