pissed the bed twice, first one side then rolled over , other side. boom.
I had a wet dream about my mom last night. words can't even begin to discribe how scarred I am. what. the. fuck.
We videoed ourselves having sex... I now know why I close my eyes during sex
After waking up today, I would like to find the Jesus preachers on campus to ask for help in asking for forgiveness to God.
She told me to stay away from him cause apparently he fucks anything that walks. clearly i responded with..."i walk"
I need your advice and before you say it, no, it cannot be solved by a blow job
You clearly don't understand the power you wield with your mouth.
Also, I had a dream I had a ray gun and woke up holding my dick.
she's unstoppable after she starts doing shots and yelling NANNER
I still can't believe he came down from his hiding place in the tree voluntarily because he didn't want us to have to talk to the cops alone...
Siri just called me GayBoy in front of my family. I will destroy you.
Some fat latino guy has these 2 fat white moms making out with each other on the dance floor
why is "bang the student affairs grad assistant" the third highest thing on your semester goals list
It's like all the guys I keep around if I wanna have sex with all got mad at the same time. I guess I'll get out my vibrator again.
You would be successful and sober without me. you can't turn your bakon me now
Never going back to jail again. Only time in my life I've ever had a wet dream about jerking it...
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