Facebook really needs to add a bikini picture profile tab for girls, it would really save me countless amounts of time!
im flying all the way to minnesota to see him for four days... cutest-best-friend-reunion or most-epic-booty-call-ever?
who says it cant be both...
I'm sorry, but the way we fuck, they don't make condoms strong enough not to break
There's a bed on the roof. The window behind it is too small for it to go through. I'm impressed.
Oh shit. There are penis maracas
she didnt realize that i was putting on the same condom i used the night before with some other girl
you can officially check off peeing off the 5th floor while shouting "I want to break the guinness world record for longest piss stream" off your college to do list.
She was mad I came so fast. I was like, It's the Olympics! Fastest time wins! We can train you in the offseason.
I think all the stress in my life right now can be directly correlated with never winning a game of Bop It as a child.
HE TRIED TO HIT ME WITH A CHAIR. Stoned video games are NOT happening again
We smoked with this guy who looked just like Hyde from that 70's show in an alley. It was a divine moment in my life.
I'm sorry I lead life with my vagina.
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed...
Please explain the hospital band on my wrist.
I'm reading 50 shades of grey and masturbating while he's doing insulation downstairs. Maybe I can get him to bring me a sandwich
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