just peed in the tub. didnt notice the passed out drunk guys there until a minute in
And the cops told us we were all naked.
Internet sex stories have completely ruined the word sopping for me.
Everyone threw up but him. I took off my shirt because I puked on it. There were also a lot of drag queens involved.
U know that drunk state, where at 930 the next morning your sitting in a bath in ur bathing suit trying to sober up...yeah. That's where i am..
Can you work for me at 4? We might have just taken some drugs we found in the couch and... end of story
If we can't get laid at a bar crawl, we should just quit life.
His hands kept asking for sex, but all I could think was "dude, this is going to ruin my high".
Life Lesson #1 of 2013: double-fisting shower beers and shaving my bikini line should be reserved for two different showers.
today i was walking through gramercy with a dress bag from David's Bridal and a bag of McDonald's. No guy would make eye contact with me as I scarfed down my fries. I think I was mankind's walking night terror.
We decided to try to steal hot dogs but it ended up with me punching him in the face and crying. Pretty solid night
I've had 5 hours of sleep and I still smell like sex with the Colonel. I don't appreciate spontaneity.
This whole having a new phone thing is like starting all over in life with a clean slate! (My old text convos are gone)
New phone new life!
I enjoy the company of your penis
Dude, she stopped mid blow job to ask the cat's name. ADHD might be a deal breaker after all.
Randomize
