Afterall, it is the real San Francisco treat
I have a dream, to one day wake up next to a girl, walk to the washroom and kick her kids toys out of the way. That day has come, yes we can.
he looked upset that i wasn't completely shaven. i reminded him he had begged. and beggars can't be choosers.
She made me add her as a friend on fb before she got into my bed... I sense a stalker
He pulled his dick out during the Bourne Ultimatum, ruined it for me.
was i strangled at any point last night? or was his dick just that long
I think that's the key to being an adult though... Get those rapid fire beer shits out I the way early, then you can go about your grown man business
It looks like I promised him my virginity, in spanish. What the hell did you give me?
i just wrote an ode to an enchilada dorito. i'll need that pregnancy test now please.
Had a guy offer me a shot. But he wimped out when I asked for tequila and instead ordered gummi bear shots. I don't think he has balls. I didn't stick around to find out.
You're 34. You can't make guys wait till the third date anymore. Step it up!
I was chasing disarono with Bacardi and watching ice cube movies. It would have been an epic birthday if I wasn't by myself and actually had some decent friends.. Hint. Asshole.
Dropped the bowl in the litter box. But it landed face up. What do I do?
Well I'm a full service fuck buddy so lemme know if I can get you food or water or anything
my mom walked in on me eating her out, and i can never kiss my mother again.
Randomize
